Simple, as far as men are concerned. Just get hold of Dante Moore’s book.

The Re-Education of the Female, written by Dante Moore, is a best-seller in the United States. Its success could be explained by the fact that, among other gems, it advises women to obey men unquestioningly, and wear sexy clothes while cooking and cleaning. In hard-hitting chapters titled ‘Appearance, Appearance, Appearance’, ‘You Knew He Was a Bum When You Met Him’, and ‘Are You an Indirect Prostitute?’ he apparently dispenses advice on what women should do to get – and keep – their men.

Another delightful piece of advice: “The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh you don’t? Why not? It’s the same with men when they see baby-elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.”

Interestingly, Dante Moore still doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Gee, I wonder why.

PS: Dante’s book would probably meet with this horny old geezer’s approval. Don’t miss the almost wistful fiddling with the wedding ring.

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I picked up Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions last week and just finished reading it. It’s been written by Smita Jain (she’s a fellow blogger on WordPress), and is about a hysterical television soap writer who gets blocked, decides to spy on people for inspiration and witnesses a murder. Except the murderer has seen her, and the cops think she may have done it.

It was a good read, though it got slow in parts during the third chapter. But then the pace picked up again and didn’t really flag after that.

What I liked about the book was that it is a spoof on the Indian film and television scene – all the K serials – and the convoluted, filmy plots that the protagonist comes up with are really funny. It’s very satirical and irreverent, and for me that’s always a good thing. The other nice feature is that you can sense a lot of care has gone into the crafting of the murder and its solution. It’s an intelligently plotted whodunit, even as it is a twisted homage to India’s obsession with the K-people (who I think are actually aliens, since they don’t resemble any man, woman or beast I know.) The boring bit was the whole romance angle – that was predictable, since you know that the duo that can’t stand each other has to end up in bed!

For those so inclined, there is some kinky role-play sex thrown in!

All in all, a good racy read. Paisa vasool.