Simple, as far as men are concerned. Just get hold of Dante Moore’s book.
The Re-Education of the Female, written by Dante Moore, is a best-seller in the United States. Its success could be explained by the fact that, among other gems, it advises women to obey men unquestioningly, and wear sexy clothes while cooking and cleaning. In hard-hitting chapters titled ‘Appearance, Appearance, Appearance’, ‘You Knew He Was a Bum When You Met Him’, and ‘Are You an Indirect Prostitute?’ he apparently dispenses advice on what women should do to get – and keep – their men.
Another delightful piece of advice: “The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh you don’t? Why not? It’s the same with men when they see baby-elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.”
Interestingly, Dante Moore still doesn’t have a girlfriend.
Gee, I wonder why.
PS: Dante’s book would probably meet with this horny old geezer’s approval. Don’t miss the almost wistful fiddling with the wedding ring.
The Quirky Indian 
September 1, 2008 at 3:31 pm
dante doesnt have one?..makes him the most eligible to write the book..eh?
September 1, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Dante has never been a sexy woman, nor has he ever pleased a man, what does he know, huh?
I always wonder what kind of crazy fetish is that to expect women to wear sexy clothes and do house chores. Imagine wearing a chiffon gown and make tea or vacuum? I bet the dress would be caught in the vacuum and a trip to hospital would be in order
September 1, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Dont tell me you had to read a book to write this. All you had to do was to ask 😛
September 1, 2008 at 5:32 pm
hehehe!!
well the fact that he is still single makes it all so obvious!!
i would have never thought it would be difficult to find a woman whose aim in life is to please a man by doing household kaam in sexy lingerie!! all the time!! :p
i mean dont all saas bahu women perinially wear silk sarees, full make up and make alu ke parathe and gajar ka halwa?!
geez! the man is hardly being unreasonable!! nahi?! 😉
now to take my elephantine self to a grocery market!! thank god! i am not single! 😦
cheers!
abha
September 1, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Hehehe… I totally agree with Che! Did you? Really?? 😀
And yeah, this Moore guy seems to be queer… 😀
September 1, 2008 at 6:04 pm
That’s rich. A man writing a book for women on how to keep their men! Wonder why it’s called “Re-education” tho’. Isn’t this really ancient advice that even women are guilty of bringing their daughters up on? Always be presentable, if not alluring, for your man.
Sigh. Any chances d’you think, QI, that a book doling out advice on how to find women sexy/desirable even when they’re tired, dirty and fat, will be a bestseller? And not just porn or high theory?
September 1, 2008 at 7:32 pm
No wonder he has no girl friend 😀
September 1, 2008 at 7:58 pm
I bet he’s best friends with John Gray of the ‘men are from mars and women from venus’ fame.
September 1, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Keeping in mind views of both the sexes, I would say he is a jerk and his publisher (female) is a step forward.
September 2, 2008 at 12:57 am
I wonder why you read the book.
September 2, 2008 at 4:06 am
Funny …..
The advices are indeed delightful…
P.S. Needed this laugh today… thankyou!!
September 2, 2008 at 6:08 am
We finally have a man who has the balls to call a spade a spade….hahahaha
September 2, 2008 at 11:49 am
@mystiquedew – yup, let’s hear it from the master… 🙂
@Tazeen – :-). And by the way, chiffon gowns might be sexy, but I think Dante was looking at something considerably more minimalist…..
@Che – dude, you were friggin’ absconding…I might have asked you otherwise….
@Abha – Dante’s smartly combined two common male fantasies here – woman doing the housework, and woman in sexy lingerie….
@Nikhil: What are you laughing about? You have Jodha in your fantasies! 😉
@Smokescreen – Aren’t people tired of all these ‘the-truth-about-the-universe-and-everything-in-two-lines’ books? As for the other question, well, somewhere between porn and high theory lies real life….and hopefully someone will figure that out one day!
@Smita – I think it might stay that way as well… 🙂
@LM – He’s definitely from another planet!
@Oxy -welcome to my blog. Apparently his publisher is a writer of erotica. So this is clearly relationship advice from the best in the business!
@Vaibhav – I haven’t read the book…read about it. If I had read it, the post would have been longer and would have covered more ground….
@Paradox Philic – Welcome to my blog. Glad you enjoyed the post!
@Liju – 🙂
September 2, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I loved the video. LOLLLL on the book
September 2, 2008 at 12:29 pm
@ QI:
Sorry to make a serious remark amid all the jollity…
That a man says it makes it no less or no more provocative than if a woman says it. Recently plenty of women have said it: “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, by Laura Schlessinger and “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyle (NOTE: If you see a woman called Laura, marry her! You will never be short of ironed shirts or hot meals, and by all accounts, for these seem to be acolytes of the Jerry Hall school of wife-ness, a lot of good sex.) There are plenty of other pop culture references to a serving, obeying but not haranguing-for-domestic chores including The Beautiful South’s ‘Don’t marry her, have me’ (as usual, listening to lyrics is important).
That said, many women are increasingly making the choices these authors are offering as tips for re-education and tips for keeping a marriage happy. This is their defence – “Our mothers did not work for the right to work outside home, they fought for the right to choose their lives; they chose careers and now we are free to choose to be alpha moms and stay-at-home wives.” When framed as a ‘choice’ there is nothing wrong with this argument.
As in some African cultures, notably the Nigerian, where a wife’s obesity is seen as a sign of the family’s financial prosperity and the husband’s virility, the husbands of these stay-at-home women are seen as capable, financially successful (they do not need their wives to go to work to put food on the table or to pay for exotic holidays), and competent alpha males. The children, where applicable, benefit from 100% attention of at least one parent, which, much research shows, is beneficial to a child’s psychological well-being.
In the rawest terms, this is old-fashioned evolutionary psychology at work.
That said, I know several younger Indian women seeking husbands right now. Their experience seems to mark out Indian men as being very mercenary about the whole process. Many openly profess seeing professional wives making money as a ticket to a lifestyle they themselves cannot afford on their salaries. The catch is this – in addition to her job, the wife must also cook, be the primary carer and serve the in-laws. Any surprise that most women are staying put. They have bought property, they take holidays they want and some plan to adopt a bit later. You parse that as you wish.
Watching a society in flux is like watching a sausage being made. The result notwithstanding, the process doesn’t look pretty.
All this having been said, Kim Cattrall wrote a sex manual with her then-husband. They discussed what a fantastic life as couple they had. Soon thereafter they got divorced.
September 2, 2008 at 9:30 pm
@ QI:
Some could of course blame vasopressin response and their genes.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7593301.stm
September 4, 2008 at 12:03 am
😀 this is such a funny post!!
Actually that fat thing is not necessarily true, I mean a certain amount of chubbiness just adds to the voluptuousness of the female figure.
September 4, 2008 at 3:56 am
What a disgusting book!
Was reading a newspaper article about the book, and even the publisher, Zane doesn’t believe his advice. She said, “I feel like women should be forewarned and realize what is out there.”
Here is the article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/27/AR2008082703400_2.html?nav=rss_email/components
September 4, 2008 at 2:24 pm
@Phoenixritu – glad you liked it. Yes, the video is hilarious!
@Shefaly – I guess it’s finally a matter of choice. It’s Dante’s choice to keep the sort of views he does, and it’s the choice of readers to buy his book, and either agree or disagree with him. The Lauras of the world choose their lifestyles, as do the women, who, while ’emancipated’, choose home over career. As do the women who choose to stay single. The key aspect here is the exercise of one’s choice. I choose to disagree with Dante’s views, and I choose to laugh at them…. 🙂
As for the ‘commitment-phobe gene’…..I’m sure this study comes as a godsend to many men. Though, as the researchers themselves state, the extent of this gene’s contribution is still not known.
@Priyanka – welcome to my blog. Thanks for the appreciation. 🙂
@minnesotameetskarnataka (that’s quite a mouthful!) – welcome! Thank you for the link….that was a good read.
September 4, 2008 at 8:19 pm
@ QI:
Without a doubt, it is about choice.
The point of my comment also was to highlight that taking the view he is taking is no guarantee for a man to remain single. He will find enough women who want to live like that. 🙂
September 4, 2008 at 9:49 pm
ROFL… I LOVE this one!! And REALLY it’s true.. Men DO NOT look at a fat Woman.. Why Women get fat when there married?? ( And so do Men ) There happy and NOT on the meat market anylonger..LOL BUT, to keep your man or Woman you have to stay fit and your married nurished!!..Just like the fruit…LOL til l8er
September 5, 2008 at 7:19 pm
It’s nice to know that the quality of literature in the US is nothing to sneeze at.
And, sexy clothes while washing barthans. Nice, very nice! 😛
The idea should be mooted to the Vim guys, eh? Incorporate it in their ads.
September 6, 2008 at 6:52 pm
My wife has Dr. Laura’s book about the proper care of husbands. She doesn’t read it though. The book is very dense with a lot of mass and she uses it to whack me upside the head when I allegedly get out of line by, say, not being able to read her mind.
I’m a fan of this article about how women should treat their husbands: http://www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/how-to-be-a-good-wife-ladies-how-do-you-meaure-up
FYI, I’m kidding. But the article is a funny read b/c it’s so outdated and bizarre.
September 8, 2008 at 6:03 pm
@Shefaly – Oh, I agree…..the Lauras of the world will take care of that! 🙂
@wavemaker2 – 🙂
@Hades – the Vim thingee is a good idea, but do you seriously think Our Great Leaders will allow that ad to be aired. We are Indians. We do not get ‘naykkid’!
@Supercynic – Thanks for the link. That article was hilarious….must be the source material for Dante’s book. Only thing missing was the lingerie bit.
September 18, 2008 at 1:12 am
The Re-Educator has entered this blog.
@Everyone
You can disagree about the book all you but it doesn’t make it any less true.
The Re-Educator
http://www.thereeducation.com
September 20, 2008 at 1:06 pm
@Dante – welcome to my blog. Well, you’re entitled to your views, and others are entitled to theirs. Cheers.
September 30, 2008 at 11:29 am
hey!!
give the guy a break yaar…I mean ok his advice may not be practical…but subconsciously oh wtf even consciously doesnt every man wish his woman did just what the guy advices?
October 1, 2008 at 12:10 pm
@Pinku – welcome to my blog, and thanks for the comment. I am sure a lot of men do agree with Dante – which is why his book’s apparently doing well…..but seriously, I think if you do an informal survey, most men may wish they had some say in matters and decisions….but not this. 🙂