One of the world’s most peculiar mysteries has been solved. Hitler, it seems, had only one testicle. Evidently, a lot of people had long suspected this. (Really? You have people researching Hitler’s genitals? Is there a doctoral thesis called Der Fehlende Hode von Hitler gathering dust on a library shelf somewhere?) And now it appears that a recently unearthed document has corroborated this.
This find raises some interesting possibilities. You know how some people – women, especially – always have this thing about men thinking with their balls? And how all the mayhem and destruction in the world can be traced back to the primordial scrotal sac? Well, ladies, I have news for you. The bloodiest episode in human history was begun by someone who didn’t have all his, ummmm, marbles. That, I think, weakens the co-relation somewhat.
One could counter this view, however, by theorising that Hitler, lacking in the testicles department – and so having developed a complex about his manhood – overcompensated, psychologically speaking, with World War II.
I love pop psychoanalysis.