I recently came across quite a few articles that talk about the removal and/or dilution of various sex-ed initiatives proposed in India. That’s great news. Why should our young be exposed to these unspeakable, filthy things? Is it a conspiracy by a foreign power? Is this the new weapon in the arsenal of the terrorists – do they want to corrupt our young? Okay, enough facetiousness.
“There will be no mention of condom or safe sex in the revised module on life-skill education programme. But we will be focusing on the aspirations of the youngsters and will also talk about being faithful to one’s partner and abstinence. There should be no hypocrisy on the subject,” said Sujatha Rao, Director-General of the National Aids Control Organisation (NACO). She was talking about a new, revised and “acceptable” sex education module devised by NACO for school students. I like the bit where she says there should be no hypocrisy on the subject. That’s rich. Irony is obviously something the good Ms. Rao is completely unfamiliar with. And abstinence – that’s a hoot. So what is the safe-sex module going to say? “Boys and girls – here’s the best way to, ummm, you know, uhhh, ‘be intimate’…….don’t be!” And people say Indians don’t have a sense of humour!
“We want our children to have good character. There is no need to give them sex education. The way it is taught is not good,” said Bashir Patel, Leader, NCP, reacting to a proposal (since put in cold storage) by the government of Maharashtra to introduce sex-ed in schools. Was there something in the module that suggested lab practicals? What’s this guy so het up about?
I suppose Ms. Rao and Mr. Patel would rather have their children learn from porn films (which will forever warp their minds about – among other things – size, endurance and the quorum for a sexual encounter….), or from the wonderfully educative sites on the internet, which, in keeping with modern teaching methods, also rely on pictures and graphics (pun intended!) to get the point across. And there are some kids who learn about sex the old-fashioned way – from books and magazines. Or from equally ignorant friends, whose sources of information are: (i) porn films (ii) the net (iii) the old-fashioned way and (iv) some other friend.
So the young and the confused come away with varied notions of sex, and necessarily see it as a furtive, clandestine exercise that is not to be talked about. An undercover operation. (Bad one, I know!) So they never really get to know what safe sex is. (Locker room conversations are about sex, not safe sex, and has anyone ever seen a porn flick where safe sex was practiced? I mean, all the films teach is that there’s no place or position unlikely enough to have sex in.) They never get to understand contraception, pregnancy and how that happens, periods, ovulation, night-fall, boners, masturbation, sexual-orientation, diseases…nothing. They are never taught that it’s something to be shared, and something to be enjoyed, albeit with responsibility. And if they haven’t heard of contraception in a city like Mumbai – here’s an interesting article on the increased incidence of abortions during the Navratri period – one can only imagine the depths of sexual ignorance in the rest of the country.
Contrast this with what the Brits are doing. They are dealing with another problem. That of a breakdown in domestic communications. According to a report commissioned by the British Department for Children, Schools and Families, the breakdown of conversation in the home had contributed to a surge in teenage pregnancy rates because it left youngsters vulnerable to influences from peers and the media. The recommendation? Parents should watch raunchy scenes from steamy TV soaps to initiate conversations about sex and relationships with their teens. Hmmmmm. Wonder what our politicians would say to that suggestion?
Isn’t it surreal to hear statements like the ones from Ms. Rao and Mr. Patel in a country where 2.5 million people are estimated to be HIV positive and/or have AIDS? Where 15% of all pregnancies are those of teenagers? Where urbanization and the breakdown of traditional family structures have resulted in a freedom that Indian youth didn’t really know earlier, a freedom that unfortunately is still coupled with ignorance?
Why are we so uptight about sex? I mean, as Russell Peters said “We don’t ever want to talk about sex, yet we’re the second largest population in the world… SOMEBODY’S FUCKING!”
Indeed somebody is. And probably without any idea of contraception or safe sex.
August 4, 2008 at 2:20 pm
QI:
The hypocrisy that Indians practise is rife in the UK too. We are all too permissive with violence (much debate about why The Dark Knight have a PG-12 rating when it should have been PG-15 or even 18; and about whether computer games should have ratings too) but queasy when it comes to sex.
Since adults are so unreliable, is it any wonder that teens and pre-teens (the youngest British mother has been 9!) try and find facts for themselves, give or take a few STDs?
Interestingly the post I wrote last night – after watching The Dark Knight – would resonate with you, I think. ‘Knowing’ or ‘understanding’ is not the same as ‘doing’. This is a common fallacy that adults deploy in all sorts of situations including this one.
It remains important to teach the kids the whats and what-nots and what-ifs of sex, which is about knowledge and leave them to figure the rest for themselves.
August 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm
hmmm,
guess it will only work if the parents object..our children are being raised by the Raos and Patels..what a joke!
August 4, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Brilliant post QI. ‘Nuff said.
But let me add:
Indian society is a seething sexual cauldron all right. That so many are ‘doing it’ without understanding the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ is scary.
And that the so-called arbiters of sex-ed have gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick (pardon the mixed metaphor!)is no help at all. Sex-ed, like many other things, should ideally begin at home. But children who are first generation learners are heavily dependent on their teachers for any education.
Another worrisome dimension to this general lack of info is that sexual promiscuity is often played out within the family itself. Which means that no precautions will be taken and no ‘fall-outs’ will ever be acknowledged.
As long as we remain obsessed with the morality of sex, pleasure and health will always be casualties.
August 4, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Great post! Raises a lot of pretty relevant issues and inspires both amusement and downright horror- a most perfect cocktail 🙂
One interesting aspect to look at would be the two diverging trends of the vast group that opposes programs like the one you have referred to. The larger group sees it as offensive to our culture and ethos. This can range from religious(of all denominations) to even some “liberals” who see many of these programs as offensive to our society’s sentiments.
A smaller, but no less influential group, speaking from the perspective of “practicality”, sees Indian society as unready for aggressive programs and thus advocate moderation.
While the viewpoint of the former group gets dismissed(as it so rightly should), the latter point is often subsumed by the former. It is important that the latter view is addressed and combated as well. While it is true that different sections of the society should not be brought under a uniform method, it is very dangerous to transform what is essentially an issue of implementation into a matter of policy.
From this perspective, it would be interesting to investigate the view of K.Sujata Rao(who is a Harvard alumnus and Health Department veteran). Mr. Patel’s opinion, alas, does not leave much scope for interpretation.
But at the end of the day, it does not matter if you are eaten by a lion or a hyena. You are eaten anyway. So…;)
Here is a piece from the “Frontline” analyzing the review of the previous NACO module.
August 5, 2008 at 12:23 am
I have always been amazed at Indians’ obsession with sexual morality of a certain kind. We have no problems idly watching on when a woman gets molested in public, we are more likely than not to ignore a guy bleeding on the streets and we simply love electing politicians with criminal records.
Yet, when an actress proclaims that she has no problems with pre-marital sex, or a couple show a little affection in public, or a model decides to pose nude, we protest violently.
As you once said in a different context, we are like this only 🙂
August 5, 2008 at 10:43 am
@Shefaly – your post on ‘knowing’ versus ‘doing’ was a brilliant assessment of the reasons behind the ‘thinking’ (if one can call it that) of the moral brigade…..I wonder when they’ll understand the difference.
@mystiquedew – sadly, most parents also oppose any form of sex-ed, adding legitimacy to the shenanigans of the Raos and the Patels…
@Smoke Screen – thank you.
“As long as we remain obsessed with the morality of sex, pleasure and health will always be casualties” – couldn’t have summed it up better.
@Prasanth – thank you. But I’m not very clear about what you meant here: “While it is true that different sections of the society should not be brought under a uniform method…”. Could you please elaborate? Thanks.
@Abhishek – our obsession with sexual morality has to qualify for top honours in the “World’s Greatest Hypocrisies” category….yes indeed, we are like this only! 🙂
August 5, 2008 at 11:33 am
Reminds me of catholic school and chastity stuff. In fact roman catholics take chastity very serious, almost fanatically. I guess in the end all religions are same wines in different bottles.
August 5, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Hmm..I guess I should have explained the distinction better. When I talk of “method”, I talk about how an individual instructor/group of instructors addresses any group. An instructor’s approach invariably must depend on the nature of the group. It is impossible to determine any generalized rules for dealing with a specific group. The nature of ice-breaking exercises, the terminology used, the speed of the session, the number of sessions used are all variables for an instructor. Thus an instructor who approaches every group with the same “lesson plan” may often fail.
However, my point was that this is merely a matter of implementation(specifically of training of instructors). Many use the factors I mentioned above to argue that society as a whole is unready for any kind of serious sex-education. The argument would go like “We agree that sex-ed is necessary but we as a society are not ready for it”. Thus it becomes a feature of policy itself.
The end result is the same(hence the lion and hyena point) but the way of getting there is very different and needs to be addressed differently.
August 5, 2008 at 4:17 pm
oops.. I actually meant “a random group” instead of “a specific group” in the 5th line of the first para of my comment. Minor stuff..but could be blasphemous in the eyes of the teaching community.;)
August 5, 2008 at 6:28 pm
@Prasanth – thanks for the explanation! The light-bulb hovering above my head just came on!;-)
You’re right when you talk about the dangers of an implementation glitch transforming into a policy issue.
I’m not sure if there’s any merit in investigating Sujatha Rao’s views. She may be too smart to believe in the tripe she said, but that also means she went along with what her political bosses felt….par for the course, I know, but this was unfortunately too important an issue to leave to politicians.
Cheers.
August 6, 2008 at 4:36 pm
🙂
true true is all i can say! i got all my half baked ideas from dirty pages in books borrowed without permission from adults in the house and then reading porn on the internet! i dont remember how old i was when i came to know that babies dont indeed come out by cutting a woman’s tummy! (that i had a c sec is quite the irony!;)
i still remember my 30yr old pal was whining about how there is no energy left by the end of the day. how can you have a good married life?
i told him “buster, sex DOES NOT take one hour!” you will soon realise how quickly it gets over!
effects of watching too much porn!! 😛
but at the same time i shudder thibking about the time when i will have to talk to my son about birds and bees!
he is just one now! guess i can relax! :p
super post!! and sorry for ultra long comment! me the talkative one!! 😦
cheers!
abha
August 6, 2008 at 10:31 pm
I told my boys about the birds and bees … even got a friend who is a doctor to explain it to them – with HIV around its better to let go of inhibitions – and be safe.
August 12, 2008 at 3:15 am
I was a little encouraged when I came upon this video on youtube
Looks like we are still stuck in the past. I have been a passive reader for quite a while. Very impressed with your articles.
August 12, 2008 at 11:07 am
@Abha – loved your comment….:-)Btw, did your friend ever get over his ‘one-hour’ illusion? 😉
@Phoenixritu – wish there were more mothers like you….
@Senthil – welcome, and thanks for the comment. That was a great link, though the message needs to get beyond the internet, to people who do not have a net connection…..it is there that broadcasting and education/curricula play a vital role, and it is that aspect that is worrying.
Cheers.
August 14, 2008 at 8:12 pm
How the heck will sex-ed begin at home, In India, where most parents too pretend it does not happen, much less know about it.
How many women can talk about contraception to their daughters- or even feminine hygiene?
Oh yes, we just close our eyes and pretend we do not do it.
August 15, 2008 at 10:25 am
Russell Peters – the man!
I don’t get it either about all this talk. There was so much venom against Khushboo ‘coz she said practice ‘safe sex’, and she said on TV in a family show! If the show had been ‘A’ rated, something tells me she would have been spared! People in Chennai broke down temples they had built to worship her, flung her with cowdung filled footwear – cruel world!
& then, some see her at Bike & Barrel (a local popular pub), and run to get an autograph!
Hypocrisy my friend, is under rated! 🙂
May i add, I like the way your pen flows. Very neat. 🙂
August 18, 2008 at 12:09 pm
@Alankrita – thanks for the comment. What you say in the comment just goes to show how critically needed a comprehensive sex-ed module for schools really is…..
@Aparna – hypocrisy is something we’re so very good at!
And thanks for kind words. 🙂
October 6, 2008 at 5:18 pm
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March 3, 2009 at 3:58 pm
It’s great to see someone write such sensible posts.
July 16, 2009 at 1:53 pm
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June 12, 2010 at 5:22 pm
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March 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Wow! I had this idea of writing something on the topic myself, but now that I’ve stumbled upon this, anything I write will be mere plagiarism. Really well written 🙂 And Russell Peters rocks, of course \m/