Three bits of news to gladden the hearts of all Indians:
First, the derogatory, insulting and demeaning portrayal of India in Slumdog Millionaire has finally been challenged: some intrepid chappie has taken it upon himself to fight for the honour of all Indians! Jai Ho! Artists, film-makers, authors beware: you don’t mess with us.
And then there is the news that a worker’s union vandalised a hotel in Mumbai – in the presence of the police – to protest the sacking of some colleagues. Way to go, guys! Smash windows and destroy furniture. Do your bit to make India a more vibrant democracy. Let’s hear it for more gratuitous mob violence.
Equally heartening was the news of Sukhbir Singh Badal’s coronation as Deputy Chief Minister of Punjab; his father is Chief Minister and other assorted relatives also hang around the corridors of power, having been bequeathed various official positions. The Badal family accounts for a third of the total cabinet portfolios in the state. But why single out the Badals? They’re merely another addition to the long list headed by the Gandhis (fourth generation and counting), the Abdullahs (third generation and counting), the Pilots, the Pawar-Sules, the Scindias, the Thackerays, the Marans, the Karunanidhi clan, the Deve Gowda family, the Devi Lal bunch, Mulayam Singh & Sons & Co., the Charan Singh parivaar, the NTR family, the Patnaiks of Orissa…..the list, you will be happy to know, goes on and on. And on.
While on the subject of democracies, I am also proud of how our democracy has matured. Most other democracies, besides resisting the concept of dynastic succession in politics, resist the inclusion of criminals as well. We are above such petty traditions that limit the boundaries of individual freedom. We have, to show the world how it should be done, gone ahead and given a standing ovation to a candidate who combines both these qualities: Sanjay Dutt. He has everything we desire in a politician. He’s an actor, his father was an MP and while his sister inherited that particular constituency, that did not stop selfless Sanjay from wanting to help the people as well. He’s also been convicted for illegal possession of an automatic weapon, even though the fact that he was acquitted of charges of terrorism and conspiracy against the state does lessen his appeal somewhat. The people of Lucknow are truly fortunate to have such an illustrious citizen willing to take on the rigours of parliamentary life for them.
Some of you might – quite rightly – point out that the US, for example, might be going the same way when it comes to dynasties, though on a smaller scale. Well, I want India to take credit for that as well. Like we did earlier in our glorious past, 5000 years ago, it is time, again, for India to spread its message and philosophy across the world. Haven’t you heard the (apocryphal) story about Laloo Yadav? Someone once suggested to him that he should hire Japanese consultants who could help change Bihar into something like Japan. Laloo is reputed to have retorted, “Send me to Japan for three months….I’ll make it another Bihar”.
Perhaps that’s the way the world is headed. Our time has come!
The Quirky Indian 
January 22, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Observations of an eternal Indian Optimist, QI, u think Nostradumb… whatever his name was, this was what he meant when he said India will rule the world in the 21st century?
January 22, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Arrey u missed the case of shifting loyalities/ principles/ thoughts and Vichaar of the Kalyan Singh family 😀
I just hope that the junta of Lucknow is mature enuff to know the difference between Sanjay Dutta & AB Vajpayee…
January 22, 2009 at 9:45 pm
hahahahaha 🙂 good one…
japan into another bihar….. 😛
January 22, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Well said Quirky, a big round of applause for us
January 22, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Hail Indian democracy hail. And yet we survive and and better still, prosper. The great Indian rope trick… 🙂
January 23, 2009 at 12:47 am
Hey this is depressing 😦
January 23, 2009 at 1:27 am
I can’t believe Sanjay Dutt has the audacity to run for office! And people are taking him seriously! He belongs in jail.
January 23, 2009 at 2:34 am
I hope you will let this comment be published. I think that a lot of the negative reaction to Slumdog, rests more on the basis that when Indians have made movies on similar themes, all the way from Jaagte Raho to Kireedom to Satya they were scarcely recognized in the West. And now Slumdog is getting all these awards everywhere, is it really that good ?
Doesnt the fact that a foreigner can come to India, make a movie about one of its most wretched areas with the help of the locals and no significant hassles tell you something about Indian democracy that a few sporadic mobs cant ?
January 23, 2009 at 8:17 am
QI, I wish I knew more about India if for no other reason than to get all of your jokes. The ones I do get are hilarious.
Until you have a Joe The Plumber — not only getting national media attention, but also having a major party candidate use him repeatedly on the campaign trail — India has a ways to go on mob, idiotic group-think.
I just wrote about how wonderful I’m feeling now that Obama is president, but I need not look too far to make myself shake my head and sigh in resignation.
By the way, smashing furniture and breaking windows is really only rock band level violence.
January 23, 2009 at 11:55 am
Interestingly, Lalu was in Japan recently and even had the fortune to travel in a Bullet Train. Apparently he was there to raise funds. One has a feeling the real intention was to stash fodder!
Prasanth
January 23, 2009 at 11:57 am
@supercynic
We have reporters who do a worse job than Joe-the Plumber. And they are trained!! How’s that?
Prasanth
January 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm
QI:
@slum dwellers’ body has filed a defamation case against music director A R Rahman and actor Anil Kapoor, is this for real I mean come on.
@sacking of some colleagues: Well, now I know what am I be doing if I ever get kicked out, I can’t go against Indian culture of Mob violence, We all should be morons and leave logic and reason under our dustbin and we should all gather at the slightest hint of ‘inability to reason’ we should be come dogs, oops did I say dogs, Oh fuck it.
No seriously can’t these idiots get him a job or something is it necessary to do this natak?
@Nepotism: We still have raja, maharajs in our Knoon right! He he he this is a good list I will use this for my post.
QI, We are more or less being Bihared across India.
January 23, 2009 at 12:15 pm
C’mon Quirky, In India “its all about loving one’s family”… Why should it be any different for the politicians 😉
The reality is that since a person’s from a particular state he can’t be fired. That he might be an inefficient bumbling idiot is besides the point. reservations of a different form i guess!
Loved the post!
January 23, 2009 at 12:16 pm
p.s. How is gali ka kutta different from slumdog. I guess its ok to say it in the matrubasha!
January 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm
@Rakesh: You may be right. Yay, we rule!
@Smita: Let’s hope they know the difference….but one never knows!
@Ajit: 🙂
@Ritu: Taaliyan-shaliyaan!
@Lifeofhues: It is a mystery, isn’t it?
@IHM: Tell me about it! We need to acknowledge our weaknesses to overcome them, but as you can see, there are too many of us in denial.
@Minnie: But he thinks he belongs in Parliament. And a lot of other jailbirds think the same of themselves.
@Vikram: May I request you – again – not to weigh in with off-topic comments – I’m sure other blogs you visit don’t mind it too much, but the lack of a similar indulgence is another lamentable quirk of mine. You’re welcome to comment, censure and criticise – if you have something relevant to say. Otherwise please don’t bother.
Did my post say what I thought of Slumdog? Look closely. I think you’ll find the correct answer is ‘no’. The reason for that is simple: I haven’t watched the film yet and therefore am ill-equipped to offer an opinion on its merits. All I said was, there have been a lot of people – like you – who have felt India’s izzat has been slighted by the film, and that someone else – who apparently thinks like you – has decided to take legal action, which I think is ridiculous. So, just so that you understand the point I’m making – I offered no opinion on the film. I merely offered an opinion on the lawsuit.
Next, I have attempted in this post to point out some serious flaws and deficiencies in Indian democracy, flaws that seem to be getting worse by the day. Your patriotic response seems to be the highlighting of a positive aspect of Indian democracy, with the naïve belief that this positive aspect (or even some positive aspects) makes every other flaw acceptable. Just so you get the preposterousness of your argument (or lack of it), here’s an analogy of what my post, and your comment, seem to be stating:
QI: X is very ill – he’s been diagnosed with cancer and I fear it may be at too advanced a stage to cure.
Vikram: Do you know his heart is in perfectly good condition? And he also doesn’t have diabetes. And he ran the marathon earlier this year. How can you say he’s ill?
See what I mean? Once again, relevant comments are welcome.
January 23, 2009 at 6:26 pm
@Supercynic: Beware: we’re rapidly catching up when it come to idiotic group think! And you’re right – 🙂 it is only rock band level violence, but it’s the apparent institutionalisation of this violence as a legitimate form of protest that bothers me.
@Prasanth: “stash fodder”? Now that’s food for thought. 🙂 Good to see you back, btw.
@Chirag: Our future is not as good as some people think! 🙂
@Gypsy Girl: ‘In India “its all about loving one’s family”…’… Yup, except it’s never “kabhi khushi” but “hamesha ghum”! We are very sensitive about people pointing out flaws and deficiencies – we would rather everything be swept under the carpet!
January 23, 2009 at 8:05 pm
@Prasanth: That is indeed a problem. 🙂 But which is worse, the reporter with the mind of Joe the Plumber or the reporter who finds Joe the Plumber newsworthy (beyond the circus level aspect)?
@QI: reading your blog gives me mixed emotions. On one hand, it’s comforting to know that there’s human dysfunction in every country; it’s not an American condition, it’s a human condition. On the other hand, I think, “Holy crap. We’re all screwed up. Morons abound!”
Please keep up the good writing.
January 23, 2009 at 9:02 pm
its diversity in unity…. 🙂
BTW, you are now clipped
January 24, 2009 at 1:23 am
dynasty politics or political dynasties…say whatever you want but we, south asians just love them. Might be a colonial hang-over or our own monarchical past. from indonesia to saudi arabia, from sri-lanka to india…. ‘family-first’ is everywhere.
The Clintons can’t be blamed alone. At least they have quality.
January 24, 2009 at 9:21 am
I never meant to say that the flaws are acceptable (and I was talking about sporadic mobs not dynasties), only that they dont override the achievements.
To quote from a BBC article,
“In fact, Indians appear to have come to terms with Western filmmakers’ depiction of the country’s crushing poverty.
I remember the sets – a vast slum, what else? – of Roland Joffe’s multi-million dollar City of Joy, starring Patrick Swayze, being firebombed by arsonists in the city of Calcutta in the early 1990s. They charged him with selling poverty. Joffe had to pack up his bags, leave the city and finish the film at London’s Pinewood studios.”
That was the context of my comment, not some dynasties, of whom I am well aware of. From firebombing to a court case is a bit of an improvement, if nothing else.
January 25, 2009 at 2:40 am
I arrived…no!hopped and skipped over here all glad that someone’s finally looking at the bright side!Hallelujah!!
And what do I find?:D
Indeed a bright side presented with a flourish as only Quirky Indian can!We are the world’s biggest ,the most democratic of the lot…Yes sir!we indeed are!
vandalise,rampage,loot……do whatever it is that you want .. get that frustration out people!!!COME ON!….We ARE a democracy after all….(psst… murders are okay too as are those who do/abet and contest.)
So please with folded hands and moist eyes ,let’s welcome ..the true Gandhian Munnabhai…
Indeed our place in the sun….What heavenly bliss!JAI HO!!
PS:-On an off topic ..Doesn’t it say something about us when we bleated like lambs way back when Mother India was released?’Gutter Inspector’s report!!” we croaked….Fine…maybe fair..maybe it was..
and then 60 something years down the line..(and in between too)…we croak again….”Unpatriotic”!”Glorification of poverty”!
Grow up,get cracking ,move your butts and do something…so we are not shouting ourselves hoarse 60 tyears down the line too..
January 26, 2009 at 9:23 am
Happy Chabeez Janwary! I hope you’ll join me in spirit to celebrate 60 years of economic disparity, female infanticide, minority negligence, and our Shiv Seniks.
Love,
LM
January 26, 2009 at 9:49 am
p.s: Your response of ‘Bharat Mata Ki jai! Vikram’ is hilarious! Keep at it QI!
Love X 2,
LM
January 26, 2009 at 7:23 pm
jai ho!
January 26, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Err…the marans and the KKK family (Kalaignar Karunanidhi Klan) have become one BIG “money” loving family (for) now.
From the current portfolio and the colourful CVs of our reigning politicans, I would say sanjay dutt is right on and ha ways to go, c’mon, he still a fledgling with only one or two convictions.
And another bit of news, our very enterprising CM,(TN’s kalaignar) has got the brain wave to help criminals voice their opinions and wishes through a magazine managed completely by them including the content. These criminals are quite a versatile bunch of terrorists like LTTE, jihadis, homegrown goondas and a few axe murderers. Yipeeee…..sunny days ahead!
January 27, 2009 at 7:45 am
Your words… they are right on mark. You know how to hit the right chords. Hats off!
January 27, 2009 at 1:13 pm
@Supercynic: “Morons abound”. A very neat summary of the times we live in! And thanks for the encouragement.
@Clipped: Welcome, and thanks for the clip. 🙂
@Whatsinaname: Very true. Sad, isn’t it?
@Vikram: “I never meant to say that the flaws are acceptable..” Perhaps you should word your comments better then.
“From firebombing to a court case is a bit of an improvement, if nothing else.” May I suggest a different reason for that?
The City of Joy set, in the Calcutta of 1992, was a very visible target. Slumdog Millionaire, in 2008, was not a visible target at all….you’re placing too much faith in the “maturity” of our citizens, instead of analysing the relative anonymity of the Slumdog shoot.
Foreign crews were not very common in 1992, and definitely not in Kolkata. Then there’s the fact that City of Joy was a well-known book, certainly much more publicised than Q&A, which has actually started getting publicity and moving off the shelves only after the news of the film. And finally, Kolkata is a very sensitive city when it comes to these things, perhaps more so than Mumbai.
2008 is another era. There are enough and more foreign films shot in Mumbai today, forget Indian films with foreign technicians. The slums – Dharavi included – are used to film crews shooting there. Nobody would bat an eyelid about a film being shot in Dharavi. On the other hand, if Slumdog were set in Kolkata, and the slum aspect was publicised before the shoot, you might have had an incident there, in between the many “cholbe na, cholbe na” demonstrations. Don’t underestimate the role anonymity played here.
@Indyeah: You’re right, we are a nation of whiners. And we stubbornly refuse to see hard truths. What to do, we are like that only!
@LM: Thankee. Happy Chabbeess to you too! All hail our glorious republic.
Vishesh: Indeed! 🙂
@Genosign: You’re correct in saying that Dutt Jr is not as qualified to be a politician as others…perhaps a few more felonies? And don’t you just love the dexterity with which Kalaignar has carved up his empire? Took the torching of a newspaper office and a few deaths to achieve it, but hey, he has successfully divided his kingdom! Sunny days? You bet!
@Dxtr: Thanks, my friend. Though it’s not pleasant for me to keep saying what I do.
January 30, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Oh my god,
you are cruel,
and you are funny.
I dont know what to quote to tell what made me laugh. Everything is worth quoting.
February 3, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Great writing style! The Shining India, I believe allows us to come up with some fabulous business ideas …our time has come!