“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.” Frank Zappa

Well, Frank Zappa was right. What he did not mention was that stupidity is also the lightest element in the universe – meaning that in any situation, in any setting, stupidity rises to the top. This was empirically proven in a survey of a statistically significant number of governments, where it was found that the most stupid rose to the top.

What he also forgot to mention was that as with oil, diamonds and other natural resources, the distribution of stupidity is not equitable. No sir. Some countries have an unfair competitive advantage when it comes to endowments of stupidity. Like our sub-continent, which accounts for half the world’s total. And, while our endowments remain constant, the distribution of the other half keeps changing and shifting.

Here are two recent demonstrations from the vast reservoirs of our bounty. Oscar Fernandes – Union Labour Minister – practically justified the murder, by disgruntled ex-workers, of the CEO of a company in Noida, adding for good measure that this should serve as a warning to managements. He later apologised. (On a separate note, this, sadly, was yet another vindication of my theory that Indians love mob violence.)

The other example was President Zardari of Pakistan. Less than a year after his wife’s assassination, the sight of an attractive woman let his libido get the better of him. (Did I mention we also have more than our fair share of tharki budhhas?)

So, you may ask, that’s still only half the world’s known reserves. What about the other half?

Ummm….ever heard of the present incumbent of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

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