So the Beijing Olympics are over. There were some great events yesterday. The US won the men’s basketball gold, beating Spain in a tough match. I think Spain gave up in the last few minutes, otherwise the margin of victory would’ve been even narrower. There was some great boxing, particularly the Super Heavyweight (+91 kgs) finals, won in flamboyant style by Roberto Cammarelle of Italy, who, after completely outclassing Zhang Zhilei of China in the first three rounds, knocked him down in the fourth.

Then there was the closing ceremony. Very spectacular. Very Chinese.

Of course, the wonderful fireworks display probably meant that Beijing’s air quality would go back to pre-Olympic levels, but I don’t think we’ll hear any complaints on that front.

Coming back to yesterday’s boxing – the commentator was an enthusiastic American. Either he’s a fan of Sidhu, or Sidhu is a fan of his. Sample these wonderful lines:

“He can do a Lionel Richie here…..all night long.” (About a boxer who kept nimbly dancing around his opponent without any signs of fatigue)

“…and he’s taking on the Chinese monstrosity..’ (He probably meant to use the word monster for Zhang Zhilei – 6’7” and 200 lbs; not a nice thing to say!)

“He may be ready to take a trip down the boulevard of broken dreams….” (Obviously, the boxer in question lost the bout!)

‘The referee asked Zhang Zhilei what his name was and Zhang said Thursday…” (Explaining why the referee stopped the bout after Cammarelle knocked down Zhang)

‘He’s got a jab that’s stiffer than a box of Viagra….” (Self-explanatory!)

‘He’s got more hits than a Pamela Anderson website…” (About a boxer at the receiving end of a flurry of punches)

Entertaining stuff.

And while on the topic of entertaining commentary, the DD guys weren’t far behind. From incoherently strung sentences to factual errors, they brought us the best of sporting action in the worst possible way!

For instance, the commentators consistently kept referring to poor Richard Mantell, the British hockey player, as ‘mental’ during the match against Australia.

Then there was this lady who clearly wanted to make her point, grammar be damned: ‘Another important point I’d like to make, being a women….’ I’m terrified she actually meant there were more like her!

But the crème de la crème, ladies and gentlemen, has to be this brilliant quote:

‘When animals and men come together, it’s equestrian…’

Call me Quirky, but I found the associated imagery disturbing.